New found motivation

I want to return to the motivation and inspiration I had in March to take care of myself and my body. I haven't been hard on it, but I barely knew what exercise was this summer. It took a 14 mile backpacking trip and two assumptions from strangers that I was pregnant to motivate me once again. Also, with all these lean and fit people surrounding me in Telluride, I at least want to be active.

So last week I joined the local gym with a three-month off-season discount. It is my hope that I will get in shape for ski season, and when the three months is up I can maintain that motivation and will power with downhill skiing and cross country skiing. And perhaps another off-season membership before I can try mountain biking.

Working out at this gym reminds me why I was so content going to Curves for two years. It's intimidating to be surrounded by all sorts of equipment that you don't know how to work really while big men huff and puff and stare at themselves in the mirror when you're just trying to do a few sit ups. I have all sorts of Women's Health magazines with work out tips. Next weekend I'll have to go through them for workout inspirations. As of now I'm doing 20-30 minutes of cardio and then 20-30 minutes of core and muscle work primarily on the mat. It feels good to be exercising again. Next week I will take a total body conditioning class that will surely kick my ass. My fit co-worker took it and she was sore in all sorts of new places the next day. I am waiting until next Tuesday to do it because I'll have Wednesday to take a break and I'm not going anywhere [for once] the following weekend.

I'm setting the modest intention/goal for myself to lose 15 pounds before my March 18 birthday...and fit into my skinny jeans before New Years, because I keep ripping my jeans and running low on acceptable jeans to wear to work.

A Year Ago Tonight

I'm the type of person who will remember arbitrary dates and tell everyone "a year ago tonight, such and such happened...." I'm THAT person who can remember the night that I started to have feelings for a certain someone (and nothing even happened that night) and uses references to other things that happened as a way to remember.

So that being said, the day(s) after the Pagosa Folk 'N Bluegrass Festival will always help me remember the fact that a year ago tomorrow I had breast reduction surgery.

A year ago tonight I was at my mom's house getting ready to start a pre-surgery fast watching the Pineapple Express with my best friend Holly in an effort to subside my overwhelming nerves for my surgery. I figured I wouldn't be able to go to sleep because of nerves, and surprisingly, was able to get a decent night's sleep before my 5 a.m. wake up call to report to the hospital. A year ago today I went to my doctor for my pre-op and he drew all over my chest in puple marker to mark where the incision lines would be.

Now, a year later, I am back to my pre-surgery weight (2o lbs down!) and I cannot believe that a year has gone by. I still am surprised with how my chest looks in a dress or shirt. I am still oh so very happy with the decision to have the surgery.

I still have chronic neck/shoulder/back tension as a result of the boobs taking their toll on my body for 8 years (how do women live their entire life with more than a DD cup???). Tomorrow I am trying acupuncture to see if it will help relieve the tension and pain.

A year later my best friend who comforted me before and after my surgery is getting married. What the hell happened to the last year? My goodness.

I used to always remember things by what grade they happened in and now I think my bench mark will be when I graduated/when I had my surgery now that I am gradeless so to speak.


In a somewhat unrelated note, I've decided this will now be my more personal blog, and I need to cool it on the way too personal commentary in the Girl in the Green Jacket link. Just for future reference. Surprise, surprise, the direction of that blog has changed once again.

My new intention

Wow, what a bitch fest that last post was. I'm almost tempted to delete it, but it does have some substantial things in it.

After posting that, a few days later my favorite new friend whom I feel like I've known for years sent me the following in an email:

We are not what we attract. We attract what we focus our thoughts on, but some mistake this for attracting what we want and say, i did not want this, why did it happen? We get what we think about, whether we think about what we want, or what we don't want. If you want love, focus on that desire, don't focus on the lack of having it.

She said her mom sent it to her. I'm not sure if her mom wrote it or picked it up from somewhere else. But I really like it. I am going to focus on how much love I receive from my family and close friends who love me because I'm Kathrine, and not someone who's trying to be someone else. So that being said I am setting a new intention:

I will to find someone who loves me for who I am. Make it so universe.

I do have some other details attached to that intention, but I don't want to share it with the internet.

And I promise I will soon post about how much I love my job. I still smile to myself when I think about how my intentional manifestation truly helped me get this job. So it can help me find a guy right? :)

Be Happy, Be Healthy

I was watching TV today and saw a commercial that referred to New Years' Resolutions. It reminded me that I had set one this year and I started to think about the fact that I really have stuck with it overall.

My resolution was to be happy and healthy. I have not been both all the time for the last 5 months, but I have done things with the intention of being happy or healthy and overall I feel much happier and much healthier than I was last December.

That's not to say everything's perfect-I would be happier if I had some more money in my bank account or could lose another 10 pounds. But I love my new job. And I love my new apartment that I'm paying out the ass for in rent, and starting this pay period I will be making more money and spending less.

I haven't exercised as much as I should here in Telluride but it's still a goal of mine. I went for a walk (with bursts of running) along the river yesterday because it was just so beautiful and when I wake up early enough and have time in the morning, I'm trying to do strength training with all the exercise equipments/props I've accumulated. The good thing is, I'm pretty broke so I can't afford to buy a lot of food, so I'm on the "no money til payday" diet for a week and a half. (Gotta pay rent!)

I don't know where I wanted to go with this blog, but I felt like posting something so I don't feel like this space has been abandoned or that I have forgotten about my quest to feel fabulous.

The next month is going to be a whirlwind of film festivals, weddings and music festivals. So my June goal is to be happy (and maintain my weight, if I can't lose any, I at least won't gain more.) After the fourth of July I want to go on a cleanse diet (a healthy one) that my cousin suggested to me. My goal for July will be to be healthy. And perhaps to lose another 10 pounds. we shall see.

Back on Track

I've been in Telluride for one week. I LOVE IT! All the hassle, stress and uncertainty paid off for this job. (Read more about it at Girl in the Green Jacket). For the next few weeks I have Mondays off because of furlough during the off-season. Today I committed my day off to getting my fitness and eating back on track (and finding a place to live.)

When I was in Durango I found out that Moleskine makes wellness journals. Not only am I obsessed with my Moleskine calendar and notebooks, but I was looking for something to keep track of my eating, fitness and motivation. I found it at Maria's and went through it today and really plotted out my refocusing efforts on wellness and whole living.

I've realized that there's more to being a certain size and weight. Although I have a weight loss goal in mind, my overall goal is to live a more whole and balanced lifestyle. Telluride's the perfect place to establish such a lifestyle, and I can start any habit I want here since I'm changing so much in my life already.

So in the spirit of starting fresh, tomorrow starts a new diet. I really hate to use the word diet because this plan doesn't tell me what to eat, how much and when...but for lack of a better word I'll use it.

So tomorrow I will start the Mayo Clinic Diet. In order to do it right, you need two weeks without temptations to adopt the different eating habits and now is the best time to start it.

So the main gist is to adopt 5 healthy habits, break 5 habits and adopt 5 more bonus habits.

The 5 habits to adopt are:

• Eat fruits and veggies (4 or more vegetables and 3 or more servings of fruits)-something I've been trying to do already.
  

• Eat a healthy breakfast (but not too much)-breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, I just need to incorporate more fruit and whole grain into my meals.
  

• Eat whole grains-I'm a sucker for sourdough bread, but I can stick to whole grains for two weeks.
  

• Eat healthy fats only-this includes nuts, olive oil, avocados. Nuts and dried cranberries make for an excellent mid-afternoon snack and would help me stick to two of those rules.
  

• MOVE! -30 minutes or more 7 days a week even if it's only walking.

The 5 habits to break are:

• Don't watch TV while you're eating dinner (on that note watch only as much TV as you exercised)-This is easier said than done when I'm in a big condo by myself, but I am going to try to do more core and mat work as I'm watching TV.
  

• No added sugar (only what's naturally found in fruit)-does Chocolate count as fruit?
  

• No snacks-only fruit or vegetables for snack food.
  

• Moderate meat and low fat dairy (stick to 3 oz of meat a day)-this will be difficult because I enjoy my protein from lean meat and you all know how I feel about cheese. But for two weeks and a promised 6-10 lbs weight loss, I'll give it a shot.
• No eating at restaurants-A no brainer for me currently because restaurants here are either closed for the off-season, or I can't afford to go out until I start getting paid at the new job.

There are 5 bonus habits that they encourage readers to adopt as well. Keep a food and activity record (piece of cake with my new wellness journal that has a section for tracking daily diet and fitness), walk or exercise 60 minutes a day (you can also use a pedometer and try to increase steps by 1,000 step increments until you get to 10,000 steps per day. Eat 'real food' and write down your daily goals. The last two I won't adhere to fully because I'll already be eating real food with the other 10 habits and and I operate better with weekly goals over daily goals.

So yeah, there's my new plan. I'm still 16 pounds away from my original weight loss goal I set when I started Ideal Protein. The Mayo Clinic book says I can lose 6-10 pounds in two weeks just by following those habits. Worth a shot right? It'd get me that much closer to my total weight loss goal....but in the mean time, it'll make me feel much healthier and better about myself for getting back into it rather than giving up and eating whatever I want. I still have Holly's wedding as my weight loss motivation.

Words to live by

I was going through my drafts and realized that I saved this, but never posted it. I found it from the living section on the Huffington Post.

In order to permanently lose weight, you want to:

1. Focus Inward: This is for you and only for you. Not for an event, not for other people.

2. Change Your Identity: You are now a person who takes care of yourself. You eat 'right,' you shake your booty, and you love yourself.

3. Have More: Healthy living is not about restricting yourself; it's not about what you can't eat. It's about having more healthy foods, more fun, more love, more creativity, more life!

I've been working out. Not as much as I'd like, but still more than I was. Maybe 2 or 3 times a week since I joined the gym. I'll be going to a total body conditioning class tomorrow. I expect it to KICK MY ASS. My co-worker goes to it, so knowing that she's expecting me tomorrow is really good motivation to get my ass out of bed in the morning and go. It's at 8 a.m. I'm setting three alarms. I am ready to feel the burn.

In Transition....

The past month has been a roller coaster when it comes to any sort of routine, workout or diet.

First off, it was my birthday. I put any semblance of the Ideal Protein diet on hold for two weeks and gained three pounds. Very frustrating considering it took me three weeks to lose a mere three pounds, but totally worth it because I ate what I wanted and enjoyed myself.

Just as I was finding the motivation to get back into my routine, I received the fantastic news that I got a job in Telluride and quickly had to pack my belongings and move to Durango within a few days.

I've been home for a little over a week now, and have been able to maintain my weight (not gaining weight, but fluctuating within a three pound range) by trying to eat well and working out at least 5 times a week. I'm still 20 pounds away from the goal weight I set for myself when I started Ideal Protein. But I'm enjoying myself and having fun.

It will be so much easier when I am moved into a place in Telluride and can get back onto a regimented eating and diet plan. I can't do Ideal Protein because it's too expensive and there isn't a 'dealer' in Telluride, but I'm thinking of buying the Mayo Clinic Diet book and following that. It focuses more on changing eating habits instead of instructing readers to eat certain amounts of certain foods and certain times of the day. The Mayo Clinic is a reputable health organization (or whatever it does...) and I thinks it's totally worth it to give the diet a shot.

If I wanted to be hard on myself I could beat myself up for eating the eggs Benedict I had for breakfast (with a mimosa) but I'm not going to do that. I had a lovely morning with my best friend and I wouldn't exchange that for anything (not even the calories in Hollandaise sauce).

Every article I read anywhere about weight loss, fitness and dieting emphasizes the concept of self-love. It's not healthy to base my happiness or self-worth on how much I weigh. Granted, that's much easier said, than done in some cases, but I'm trying really, really hard to love myself the way I am right now. Today. (Although I don't love the massive sunburn I have on my entire back from sitting in a hot tub for far too long yesterday.)


And with that I will try to muster up enough energy (the sunburn is making me feverish) to do some yoga and practice some self love.

The Dress Came!

On a different note, the bridesmaid dress came in the mail on Thursday!

After the suggestion that I incorporate more cardio than the original suggestion of strength training most of the time I decided to try jogging. This should impress you the reader because I have always despised running. Even in elementary school before I got hip and boobs. The last time I went for a 'jog' was when I was in 8th grade volleyball and could actually run half a mile without walking. In high school, the only running I ever did was to run to catch a bus or fake run when we had to 'run' the mile in PE classes. (I walked 90 percent of the thing, only running when I had to pass the teacher who was keeping time.)

The weather was gorgeous on Thursday (still in actually) and I walked briskly to a nearby park and began running short distances interchanged with brisk walking. The park is very big with a nice path meandering through it, so I would set a marker in front of me and run to it and then walk a bit.

It totally kicked my ass, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. I certainly am sore today (and was in bad shape yesterday!) but plan to stretch it out in yoga tonight and do it once again. The little excursion took about 35 minutes and once I get used to that I think I will increase my time to 45 minutes and then to an hour.

Ok, back to the dress. I came home and was stretching and heard the fed-ex guy come and deliver it and was just THRILLED. I wanted to try on the dress immediately, but waited until I showered to try it on.

I love how it looks on me. So much better than the original brown that we tried on. I know that picture isn't the best, but I was in a rush to get it up before leaving town. (It looks loose in the upper back because I didn't zip it up all the way, just clipped it at the top.)

I am disappointed that it's a size 10 because of my original goal, but with my bust size, I can't risk getting an 8 because the 10 was snug across the chest, and I want to lose weight elsewhere, not in the chest. :) I am glad to have it hanging in my closet for the next 98 days (yes Holly is counting down) as my motivation and reason for this dieting and exercise. Hopefully I'll have to alter the rest of the dress to bring it in.

I went to Greeley Thursday night and hung out with some of my favorite people. My friend Leah kept saying I looked great, and my friend Kytt said he could notice the weight loss in my face. Again, these are things I have a hard time seeing personally, but the complements feel great and I know they wouldn't make that up.

I've been in Boulder since Friday morning and have done fairly well sticking to the protocol. Granted I probably have had much more protein than normal, but I'm now back to the protocol today and had my fun for the week (with the occasional cheating).

Thursday night in Greeley I had some nachos. Carbs!!! yes I know, but I was drunk (Vodka and diet coke!) and needed something in my tummy before going to bed to help it feel better in the morning. Friday morning was ROUGH. Not because I drank excessively, but because what I did drink was probably a shock to my system which has been treated very well as of late. After breakfast and taking my vitamins I felt much better and was much more functional than I thought I'd be.

That motivated me to not drink excessively last night at the Gregory Alan Isokov concert I went to in Boulder. I took my brother out for lunch and we went to Whole Foods and I went straight to the salad bar and Chris and I split a sushi pack where I ate just the sashimi and gave him my rice. I love salad bars, especially Whold Foods'. I just have all my possible foods laid out there and can create a yummy salad with very little effort.

We went to dinner for my friend's birthday, and I will admit, I had trouble figuring out what to eat, but I had wok seared broccolini and Thai fishcakes with salmon and herbs in panko bread crumbs. The fishcakes were probably a bit excessive, but they were yummy and much better than nachos for sure. My drink with dinner was phenomenal. I had vodka, orchid liqueur and soda water. I'm sure there was some sugar in the orchid liqueur, but not as much as most beverages and it was absolutely amazing. It's very refreshing to have two drinks and stop there and really just enjoy the drinks for the taste and company you're with, rather than going for the cheapest drink and getting drunk. I also had some popcorn last night after the show with flax seed oil and salt and pepper. Soooo delicious! Popcorn is not technically permitted, but it's a good thing to 'cheat' with because it's plant based and high in fiber.

I'm hanging out in Boulder for another hour until I can go to playlist yoga at 5:30 at my cousin's studio. This week's music: Michael Franti!! At my request. :) I'm going to stretch out the tension that remains from the run, and tomorrow do both cardio and strength training with my new found routine at the neighborhood park. Maybe in the near future I won't walk the majority of the time, but for now, it works and it really good my heart rate going.

Welp, that's it for my rambling for today. If you read this further down, I thank you for reading about my mundane life in which I'm so obsessed with what I eat. Also I guess I should thank ANYONE who bothers to read this blog in general. It's a good outlet to get things off my mind or chest, and a good way to occupy my free time.

Off to Michael Franti Yoga I go!

In response to my last post.

My dad sent me the sweetest email in response to my most recent post expressing my frustration that not only made me get over the situation, but realize I need to weigh myself in the morning. Long before I consume 64 ounces of water.

Kathrine,

It was definitely the water. I can loose 3 pounds simply by running on a warm day. That is 3 pounds of sweat that I loose while running. 64 oz of water weighs 4.4 pounds (2.2 per quart). I remember because I wanted to know how much a quart or a gallon of water would add to my backpack.

You're doing great. Don't let a little water get you down.

Love,
Dad

Thanks Dad!

Not pleased with this week's weigh-in.

So I was waiting until tonight to post a blog because I thought I'd have good weight loss results to report from my weigh-in tonight. But I did not. I only lost 1 pound. Which compared to the 3 and 5 from the previous weeks was devastating and really pissed me off. Not only did I make a fool out of myself in front of my chiropractor and her staff by crying and blubbering like a dumb girl, but I also cried at a bar (where I didn't drink anything) because I met up with a friend immediately after my weigh-in.

Everyone keeps saying, well it's good you still lost 1 pound, but I don't care, I'm still pissed off and frustrated. This week, of all the weeks, was my first week of sticking to the protocol almost 98% instead of the first few weeks where I cheated once or twice. I ate what I was supposed to eat and even avoided gingerale when I had a horrendous stomach ache because I didn't want the added sugar. I had good work outs. I took all my vitamins. I worked out (not as hard as previous weeks.) My only cheating was a little bit of goat cheese and 1 thin mint girl scout cookie. I cheated much more previously and saw better results.

I'm so frustrated with this, because the diet is really starting to add up financially, and I think to myself, it's worth it if I see the results on the scale. I could lose a pound a week by eating fruit and carbs. I could lose a pound by going to the freakin' bathroom. 1 pound weight loss in this situation is unacceptable and I am pissed. The point of this strict diet is to lose 3-5 pounds not just 1. I could be doing that at home on my own.

My chiropractor was equally puzzled. She looked at my food diary and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Her suggestions were as follows:

• Get more cardio (my least favorite aspect of exercising...it hurts my feet and I can't afford a gym to use the elliptical and don't have my bike up here with me.)
• Weighing in in the morning instead of evening (I HOPE that was my issue this week. I drank all 64 oz of water before the weigh-in and water weight could play a factor, but 4 pounds worth?)
• She also gave me a chart of veggies and their carb count and wanted me to readjust what veggies I ate. Some have lots of carbs in em.....news to me. I was just eating the veggies on that stupid permitted list.
  

In my defense I did weigh myself this weekend and in the morning with no clothes on (well tank and shorts) I had lost 5 pounds. But she won't record what my scale says of course because the baseline is their scale.


Anyways, I'm not sure what else to say tonight. I'm frustrated. Stressed out because of other things and tired. And my eyes hurt from crying and being so emotional and irrational tonight. I went from feeling really great about myself to feeling super discouraged and pissed off...shitty. I still ate my stupid ideal protein meal that was unsatisfying because I still don't want to mess this up and then made the mistake of watching the biggest loser on NBC. Not a good idea.

Dress Shopping

Went dress shopping with Stephanie for our maid of honor dresses. annnnd I tried on my first green dress since I started dieting.

Not my favorite style at David's Bridal, but I did think it was a good photo to document my progress with my diet. I posted the yellow one too, because I thought it was really cute on me, and I didn't know yellow was a color I could pull off. Who knew? The yellow one I might buy just for an awesome cocktail dress if I get one of the job's I'm manifesting. (See my Girl in the Green Jacket Blog.)

An example of the Ideal Protein Diet

So a lot of people have been asking me the specifics of this diet. In a nutshell I say "Atkins with additional protein supplements." The first phase (the one I am in now) requires three packets a day plus lean meat and veggies and a shit ton of vitamins and supplements. So here's an example of a day's menu:
Breakfast:
Glass of water
wildberry yogurt IP packet
vitamins: multivitamin, potassium, fish oil, probiotics

Lunch:
-vanilla pudding IP packet (My absolute favorite IP food-tastes like cake batter)
-2 cups of chopped cucumber, radishes, and celery with splash of vinegar, mustard, italian seasoning and sometimes 2 oz of tuna or a slice of deli ham
-I can also have unlimited salad but not the biggest fan of zero calorie/zero carb dressings so I refrain unless I want to have a spinach salad with olive oil and vingar (and spinach is part of my allotted veggies.)

Dinner:
7 oz of shrimp
1 cup of chicken broth
2 cups chopped green peppers and okra
garlic
splash of olive oil
cajun seasonings
more vitamins: multi, calcium, magnesium, and something else I can't remember off the top of my head.

and somewhere in there I have a third IP packet that has been a hot chocolate mixed drink or pink lemonade. If I'm super hungry still I can add protein or veggies. So usually I just grab a slice of deli ham.

So it boils down to this: 3 packets, 4 cups of approved veggies (which is A LOT!!!), 5 oz of chicken, beef, pork or 7 oz of seafood, and unlimited salad. It's not too bad, but it is amazing how much I miss fruit and sweet things that aren't artificial. But I'm getting by, and the result of losing 8 pounds is motivation enough to keep going because I know it's working and it's worth it.

Two Weeks Into Ideal Protein

So I went with IP. I figured out how to cover the initial costs, and now I'm two weeks into it with only a few slip ups. The most exciting news to report is I've lost 8 pounds so far. Three the first week and five the second week. Add that to the 4 pounds I lost prior to starting IP and I've lost 12 pounds. I don't see it yet, but I'm starting to feel a difference in the way my pants fit, and at this rate, I'll definitely see a difference in another week or so.

As they warned me, the first few days was really hard. My body craved all the food I had been eating that I had to eliminate (mainly, cheese, fruit, carbs, POPCORN, wine and bread) and I was very tired. I did slip up the first week by making the mistake of buying girl scout cookies that I thought I'd hide, and I ended up eating half a box on Valentine's Day because I was alone, and felt like chocolate was a good substitute for a date. That's why I only lost three pounds the first week. The second week I treated myself to some popcorn and cheesy toast after a night of vodka and soda waters at a concert, and still lost 5 pounds by getting back on track immediately, and working out.

I'm not supposed to work out really hard on this diet, because that could fatigue my muscles...and the point of this is to burn my fat stores and no eat away at my muscles. The first 10 days or so I was really good by working out 5 times a week with a variety of pilates, yoga, strength training and going to the gym in Durango. But spending two days in the car interrupted my routine, AND I got really really sick to my stomach last night and stuff am hurting so I've only gotten 2 1/2 (the 1/2 is 10 minutes of pilates I did to focus on my abs)workouts in this week. Uhg. But I think I'll get back into the swing of things this weekend. If my tummy allows it I'll get a good 30 minutes of my pilates/strength training/yoga routine in tomorrow, and then I'm off to hip hop yoga at Soul Tree Studio on Saturday. My cousin is now teaching a pilates/props class at the studio on Monday nights that I fully intend to attend.

Ideal Protein?

So tonight I went to an informational meeting at my Chiropractor's office. She is offering a thing called Ideal Protein. It's slogan is "Your Last Diet" and the guy who presented said it was more of a fat loss program than a weight loss program. It is designed to reset your pancreas and direct your body to burn fat cells instead of carb and sugar cells which most bodies are used to doing because of fluctuating and off balanced insulin levels.

The first phase requires eating three Ideal Protein supplements a day combined with certain vegetables, 6 oz of protein and as much lettuce as you want. They claim that you can lose 3-5 pounds a week once you retrain your body and metabolism to burn off those fat cells.

Not going to lie, I'm super duper interested. I'm usually really skeptical about such diets....however I trust my chiropractor, and I don't think she would sponsor it if she didn't believe that it worked and that it was healthy. The only catch is it costs about $290 to start it off and about $80-90 a week after the first week until you acheive your weight loss goal.

Yes, that's a lot of money; and no, I don't have that much to start off with. But I feel like I could afford it if I weren't eating out, getting coffee or grocery shopping for major things. Yes it would be a lot of hard work, but my chrio seems to think that since I'm young I could lose the 30 pounds in 6-8 weeks. Part of the intial cost also includes supplements. The different supplements help offset the nutrients and minerals you wouldn't get on a regular diet. After the weight is lost you ease back into eating fibers and carbs and fats and learn eating habits that promote weight loss maintenance.

I'm torn. Between my frugal side, and the side of me that just wants to see the pounds melt away, and believes that this may be the solution. It took me 7 months to lost 21 pounds during my first 'transformation." Now this time, I want to lose more in less time. I'm going to have to do some serious number crunching to see if this will work.

Good night.

Today was a good day for my body.

Today was a rest day I guess. I treated my body right. I got enough sleep. I did a few sit ups and core work (but didn't break a sweat or get out of breath...so it still counts as a rest day, and some work for my main target area.)

I ate a healthy breakfast (cream of wheat with blueberries, a dollop of vanilla yogurt and a few chocolate chips. As a mid morning snack I had an earl grey latte with skim milk. Unfortunately they pumped a bunch of syrup into it at Starbucks that I didn't realize was part of the recipe, but it's something to keep in mind for the future.

For lunch I made an excellent salad with deli turkey, blue cheese crumbles, cucumber slides, avocado and olive oil and balsamic vinegar with a handful of wasabi peas and some dried mango slices. My mid afternoon snack was an apple--gala, my fave!

After work I went to my Chiropractor's office for an adjustment and massage. The masseuse sent the entire hour just on my back, shoulder and neck. It was phenomenal. All for only $40-$20 for the chiro and $20 for the massage.

Then I came home and made one of my favorite meals from the Food Network. I really dislike frying meat, but with the salad it's a good balance of delicious flavors and healthy goodness. I've made the recipe so many times I usually adjust it depending on my mood....but instead of explaining it, there's the link.

And now I must go to bed to continue being good to my body. I am exhausted and need to sleep.

Day 2/3

Wow, I have been sore today, and yesterday. Yoga/pilates really kicked my ass, combined with the amped up work out on Saturday. But that's how it should be.

I was expecting a full-on pilates class at Soul Tree Studio in Lafayette, but the instructor was sick, so it was a yoga class with focus on core work. It felt soo good to work through a series over and over again. When I do yoga on my own, I just do the few poses that feel good and that I can remember, but going through sequences makes you discipline yourself, especially in a class because you want to keep up, but you can always modify to your own comfort and/or limitations.

I'm hoping to make it up there once a week for yoga and or pilates. There are a few classes that interest me. An intro to mat pilates class Monday evening or paylist yoga Saturday at 5:30 or all levels yoga on Sunday afternoon. Knowing Meghan motivates me to go, and also it's cheaper than your average studio. I looked into a place in the Cherry Creek area that was $25 for drop in classes!!! OUTRAGEOUS. Meghan's are $10 drop in or $8 or $9 per class for punch cards.

Anyways, after pilates I went out to coffee and it took a lot of self control to not get a sugared up late. Instead I went for a cafe au lait with skim milk and just one pack of real sugar. I really can't do strong straight coffee or splenda, and I figure one packet of sugar wouldn't hurt since I never drink coffee.

Then my brother met up with me and we went out to dinner (my mom bribed us with $50 if we did something together, lol) and we ate delicious Tapas as a place called The Med. Such a phenomenal restaurant. I didn't have as many veggies as I would have liked, but I was able to limit what food I did eat, and let Chris chow down on most things while I just had a bite or two of each Tapas. That's the nice thing about going out to dinner with my brother, he'll always eat your extra food you don't want.

Time spent with my brother in Boulder is different than in Durango. In Boulder we're on our own, and being together is a form of comfort. In Durango we've got different dynamics with our parents and friends around. I like the Boulder 'us' vs. the Durango 'us'.

Anyways we had a good talk and catch up session and he informed me his goal was to gain 10 pounds this semester. Hahaha the little shit is such a bean pole that he really does need to gain weight. I sometimes wish I got his tall lanky genes. Instead I got the short curvy genes.

At the risk of sounding like I'm making an excuse for eating out last night, I do feel that it's important to have those amazing meals that just knock your socks off. That's how my dinner was last night. I prepared for it by eating little throughout the day, and I worked my butt off in the pilates/yoga class. And it's all about moderation, right?

As for today, I didn't go for a walk as planned because I was sore. So I did a weight loss yoga routine that I got from an awesome yoga blogger named Tara Stiles. Tara Stiles is a HuffPost blogger and I am shamelessly addicted to the Living page for most fitness and diet tips.

I then walked to the grocery store. It wasn't fast, but that counts as a walk right? haha. Through different research on the internet I found something that said when you check out the grocery store do a quick scan of your cart and make sure it's 50 percent produce, 25 percent whole grains and 25 percent lean protein. I was pretty darn close, mostly produce. And then bread and cream of wheat and yogurt for breakfast, because my breakfast options were dwindling quickly.

Tomorrow I will amp it up with my routine from the personal trainer Elke. Or as I will call it in the future, Elke's routine. I have a chiropractor's appointment and a massage tomorrow after work. I'M SOOOO EXCITED.

I hope this isn't just a bland blog documenting what I eat and how much I work out. I promise I'll spice it up a bit. But really, having someway to document both of these things will really help I think because it stops me from eating something because I don't want to make shit up for this blog. I want to be accurate, and I want succeed at this.

Day 1-2

So far so good, but that's to be expected on day 1. I went to target and bought a medicine ball (6 lbs I think) and two two pound mini medicine balls. I've decided that I'm going to try another month or so without joining a gym and instead do an at home fitness routine that a personal trainer put together for me. It includes a physio ball, medicine ball and hand weights. I did the full thing yesterday because I finally had a medicine ball, and boy did it kick my ass. I have a good feeling about this, and I feel even better if I don't have to go to the gym.

For my cardio component of this 'home workout plan' I am going to go for walks. I walked for 30 minutes yesterday. It was nice and got my heart rate pumping for sure. My only complaint was my feet. They started hurting in the arches (or where I should have arches) and I had these stupid ankle socks that kept falling down into my shoe and I stopped several times to try to pull them up.

So that's what I'm going to do, walk for 15-40 minutes each day (I'm going off of this website where I'm going off of level 3 for now, but I may amp it up to 4 after I see how this week goes.) On days where I walk for only 15 minutes, I'll go during my lunch break at work. But I'll also add my home workout from Elke, the trainer, in some sort of variation each day.

I want to workout 6 times a week. My workout today will be an hour long pilates class at my cousin's brand new studio she opened in Lafayette. If I'm up for it, and if I can get my brother to go with me I may try to go for a hike or walk in Boulder afterwards.

As for the eating component, I did really well yesterday. Part of it probably was because I woke up late and had breakfast at 11:30 and then had to force myself to eat lunch, and only had one snack. I had nothing to do yesterday after I worked out and I could have easily been tempted to veg out on the couch and snack. Although I did watch a lot of TV I kept myself busy while doing it so I didn't want to snack. And after dinner when I was craving something sweet, I went for these dried mangoes that are yummy. So I satiated the sweet tooth, but limited my snacking to fruits and vegetables.

As I was looking around at more websites devoted to my new cause, I found this statement that I liked, it's a good thing to keep in mind when eating or grocery shopping:

If you don't know what's in it, than don't eat it.

My "New Year's Resolution"

Ok....so yes, I may be a month behind on the New Year's resolution thing I now feel motivated and ready to get started, so it doesn't matter what time of the year I decide to work towards a goal. My last goal similar to this began in August and I set my deadline for March--and I met it!

So here it is: I want to lose 2 dress/pant sizes by May. I have a lot of fun things on my plate starting in May (which I can blog about later) and I don't think I can fully enjoy myself doing all these things unless I feel more comfortable in my own skin.

This is not to say I want to be skinny and look like everyone else. I love my curves....but I want to be healthier and happier. Bottom line. Dropping two dress sizes would put me in a healthier BMI range and would make me feel more comfortable with myself--therefore happier with things.

I don't want this new branch of my blogging efforts to be just an outlet for me to bitch about my weight. I want to be held accountable for my goals and by putting it out there in the internet-world, I am making my own thoughts concrete, and whoever decides to read this blog could hold me accountable to my goals and intentions. Or, I could just pretend that people are reading it and pretend that people care about my weight loss goals and use it to motivate myself.

I spent tonight reading through various websites and articles that I have bookmarked over the past few months that relate to eating healthy and working out. I felt like I was studying for a test or something (which by the way I kind of miss...) and took notes on the highlights and takeaways that I want to keep in mind as I work towards this goal.

It helps to have things written down or printed out to get the point across to myself. Here are a few things that I think are good to keep in mind as I begin this new 'resolution':

1. Remember this is a positive experience.
2. Have realistic expectations of the outcome.
3. Go for small, not drastic changes.
4. Use basic problem solving techniques to get past previous obstacles.
5. Take actions that match your intentions.
6. And my personal favorite: Remember, a lapse can (and most likely will) happen and every day is a new day to start fresh.

So I am going into this with those 6 things in the back of my mind. This is a positive experience because I can do it, and it will make me more comfortable with myself over the summer. I am being realistic about my expectations of the outcome because I have been able to do it before with less discipline (and bigger boobs) so if I set my mind to it, I can do it now. My previous obstacles in gaining a lot of the weight I previously lost had to do with a lack of motivation and my inability to work out most of last summer due to a breast reduction surgery I had. I now have increase mobility and decreased discomfort and need to find that motivation to get back on track. And yes, I will allow myself to enjoy that glass of wine or piece of chocolate if I have worked out the same day, and if I lapse, there's always tomorrow to get back on the wagon.

Tomorrow or Sunday I will explain more of my exercise and eating plan. I really try to avoid the word diet because I will still eat foods that I enjoy, but it's just a matter of limiting certain things and changing how I eat and what I eat, when.

Also, on a side note....to explain the title of my blog. My other blog, that I soon hope to start up again about things unrelated to my insecurities and fitness goals, is titled the Girl in the Green Jacket. My mom helped me with that name because green is m favorite color and at the moment I have 5 different green jackets all in different styles (down, flannel, rain jacket, trench and shell.) (I live in Colorado, it's easy to have so many jackets....) So anyways, With Girl In The Green Dress, I want to focus on feeling more comfortable with myself in less clothing. Most people can feel comfortable in a big bulky jacket regardless of their weight because it can hide all the bumps and insecurities. I wanted my title to of course have a similar theme, but this time focus on light, summery clothing in which this summer hopefully I will feel happy and comfortable in a green dress that is a size 8. Once I meet my weight loss goal, I am going to go out and find the cutest damn green dress and wear it in Mexico and to my friend's wedding rehearsal dinner. (I will be wearing a blue dress as one of her Maids of Honor....)

And yes, Mexico and the wedding are the major reasons for my new goal. It's manageable and realistic. I just need to get my ass in gear and start working out. :) But first I'll sleep, and sometime soon I'll tell you why sleep is a key component in this new venture.

Goodnight!